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I like to post articles to give a bit fuller picture of where I am coming from. So that is below after my post itself:
Fear of Happiness is such like fear of success. It's means moving through the same negative voices that we hear in our heads. I particularly hear my grandma's ( very similar to my mothers) voice which basically says " there is no use, life is miserable then you die" She was a depression era catholic, married to an abusive man, with four kids by age 25, so she had a lot to be unhappy about, her attitude the greatest hindrance. Thankfully I have the opposite voice on the other side, the side that had slavery as a recent family reality and being educated , healthy and free was always appreciated.
I find my fears of happiness pop in dating and school a lot. I am dating some good guys and they do nice things for me and I think I could be happy basically with them, and then I find some minor fault or I'm not crazy attracted to them or maybe it's just not right. I also have lost some important people I was in relationship to , so I fear that loss again.
School is challenging for too many reasons to go into here.
My friend's mom ( who must be the coolest mom on earth) made me a bracelet and gave it to me the other day. I was scared somehow and over whelmed. It's a beautiful bracelet that matches perfectly with a ring I got myself a long time ago. This is the mom energy I have always wanted, the kind that is warm and giving and juicy. My actual mom is pretty distant emotionally, kind of aloof, even though I know she cares.
Basically I am being gifted by the universe more and more these days and I really appreciate it and fear it too.
What if I find the right guy, settle down and know that myself, my relationship and our children are well cared for by us and him? What if I get more than enough clients to support myself and help people realize there own inner strength and happiness? What if everything works out?
I'm not asking a question as much as wanting to create space for anyone to talk about there experiences . We can also just put it out there that our intention is to be happy. A happiness that comes from within and spreads to help other realize there own happiness. I do think it's is our birth right ( as the body of god or the way god expresses itself in the universe) and we deserve happiness.
I particularly like this line "As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." It is when we liberate ourselves from our fear of happiness that we can help others." Cheers to that and thanks for being on the path with me.
Love, Aschleigh
By Therese Borchard
When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness. Because we do not believe we actually deserve them, that they could really be ours, we fear their loss. This fear causes actual behaviors that lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy: our fear of loss creates actual loss; our feelings of being unworthy of happiness in fact lead to unhappiness.
A person who fears loss may protect himself by ensuring that he has nothing to lose. When we are happy, we have a lot to lose. To avoid the devastation of a loss, we exclude the possibility of any gain. We fear the worst and thus, from the outset, deprive ourselves of the best.
Even if we do find happiness, we might feel guilty because there are other people who are less fortunate. The implicit, and false, assumption underlying such sentiments is that happiness is a zero-sum game--that one person's happiness (our own) necessarily deprives others of theirs. Williamson says, "As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." It is when we liberate ourselves from our fear of happiness that we can help others.
To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.
Fear of Happiness is such like fear of success. It's means moving through the same negative voices that we hear in our heads. I particularly hear my grandma's ( very similar to my mothers) voice which basically says " there is no use, life is miserable then you die" She was a depression era catholic, married to an abusive man, with four kids by age 25, so she had a lot to be unhappy about, her attitude the greatest hindrance. Thankfully I have the opposite voice on the other side, the side that had slavery as a recent family reality and being educated , healthy and free was always appreciated.
I find my fears of happiness pop in dating and school a lot. I am dating some good guys and they do nice things for me and I think I could be happy basically with them, and then I find some minor fault or I'm not crazy attracted to them or maybe it's just not right. I also have lost some important people I was in relationship to , so I fear that loss again.
School is challenging for too many reasons to go into here.
My friend's mom ( who must be the coolest mom on earth) made me a bracelet and gave it to me the other day. I was scared somehow and over whelmed. It's a beautiful bracelet that matches perfectly with a ring I got myself a long time ago. This is the mom energy I have always wanted, the kind that is warm and giving and juicy. My actual mom is pretty distant emotionally, kind of aloof, even though I know she cares.
Basically I am being gifted by the universe more and more these days and I really appreciate it and fear it too.
What if I find the right guy, settle down and know that myself, my relationship and our children are well cared for by us and him? What if I get more than enough clients to support myself and help people realize there own inner strength and happiness? What if everything works out?
I'm not asking a question as much as wanting to create space for anyone to talk about there experiences . We can also just put it out there that our intention is to be happy. A happiness that comes from within and spreads to help other realize there own happiness. I do think it's is our birth right ( as the body of god or the way god expresses itself in the universe) and we deserve happiness.
I particularly like this line "As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." It is when we liberate ourselves from our fear of happiness that we can help others." Cheers to that and thanks for being on the path with me.
Love, Aschleigh
By Therese Borchard
When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness. Because we do not believe we actually deserve them, that they could really be ours, we fear their loss. This fear causes actual behaviors that lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy: our fear of loss creates actual loss; our feelings of being unworthy of happiness in fact lead to unhappiness.
A person who fears loss may protect himself by ensuring that he has nothing to lose. When we are happy, we have a lot to lose. To avoid the devastation of a loss, we exclude the possibility of any gain. We fear the worst and thus, from the outset, deprive ourselves of the best.
Even if we do find happiness, we might feel guilty because there are other people who are less fortunate. The implicit, and false, assumption underlying such sentiments is that happiness is a zero-sum game--that one person's happiness (our own) necessarily deprives others of theirs. Williamson says, "As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." It is when we liberate ourselves from our fear of happiness that we can help others.
To read more Beyond Blue, go to www.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.
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Los Angeles
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