That's what differentiation is about ( Bowen and Schnarch are psychologists who write a lot about that) . When we can validate ourselves then we are not waiting for others to come along to tell us me are ok, we are freed up to enter situations not looking for others to do anything. We can be us and they can be themselves.
Imagine how important it is to feel sexy from within and not have to have a partner to "make" us feel sexy. We are free to put out that sexy vibe any where we go.
The best book about this is Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. The benifits to self-validation ( not needing someone's approval ) are vast in a relationship.