maybe a balance of going with the flow and taking baby steps to creating an image of the "professional" you. I know how scary it can be and all the triggers and all the "inner dialogue" that can stop you in your tracks.

If the business card thing seems to stick out for you, how about making a game out of designing your own business cards? Vistaprint pretty much will take you through the steps and you will only pay for shipping and you can start out with a small amount and see how it feels. I think for me tackling the WHOLE thing paralyzes me but taking things step by step while holding the big vision seems to be the trick. That way if anything comes up you can deal with it in the NOW. Whenever we start to stretch ourselves stuff that is buried comes up and it doesn't come up to stop you, it comes up for healing. I found this quote once that I love...

When you are ready to quit, you are closer than you think.

Also, NEVER if you can help it EVER compare yourself to others that are doing the same or similar things it will always make you second guess or doubt yourself. Now that being said, it is much easier to say you won't compare yourself then it is to actually stop comparing yourself. Everyone has a different path and a different set of lessons to get them there. Your's is entirely your own, and you must always honor that.

Bless you on your path, and how exciting is it that you already are a Professional!

So how can you be afraid of... what you already are?

marianne williamson has a favorite quote. i think she wrote it for you, kaalii:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

and i understand the feelings of comparing yourself to others, and thinking you don't measure up. i think most of us are in that same place sometimes. you are thinking you're not good enough, that there is some standard out there of "authentic" and "professional" that belongs to other people, but not to you. but that is just a story you're telling yourself. it's not true, you made it up, and it's a story that will hold you back.

you clearly are a professional, if you've been doing it for ten years. you're good at it, people like what you do, and you actually make a living at it. that is awesome!

i think you need a coach, someone who is going to help you see what needs doing as you get the structural stuff for your professional life in place (business cards, good photos, videos up on your website, that stuff is structural). someone who can help you choose one thing at a time, and then make it happen... because that's the important part, to make it happen! one step at a time, and before you know it, you'll have things in place.

like queenie says, start with the business card. find a great photo of you with fire or a hoop, and make a simple business card with it. put your name, some of the things you do, and your phone number and email on the photo. if you're not creative that way, i guarantee you know someone who is. it won't take long, and it's not expensive at all.

then always have those with you. business cards make life so much easier... i carry three types, one for personal use that has just my name, cell and personal email on a simple design of a background i found at overnightprints.com, one for my professional recruiting work, and one for my coaching/writing business that has my photo and lots more information about me. which one i give someone depends on the context, but all i have to do is reach into my wallet and pull it out.... it makes life so much easier, and people have something they'll actually hang on to. and it adds instant credibility.

and you don't have to call yourself a professional. you can call yourself a fire performer or a poi artist or a hooper extraordinaire. you're jsut one with a business card ;^)

and when you see people moving faster or taking more on (and you will), and when you see people who just started doing better than you in terms of getting gigs (and you will), then use it as inspiration to make sure you're doing just what YOU want to do, instead of letting it make you feel inadequate. i find that comparing myself to others is only good if it inspires me, but if it makes me want to beat myself up, then i just stop it.

so get going on that card, that will get you unstuck, and then you can work on the next part (maybe a simple one-page website) and you'll have the structure for professional credibility in place, and you can get back to just enjoying the awesome life you've created for yourself.

.

I love queenies answer.


I'm going to paraphrase something I heard from Gay Henricks about our "fear of success"
(hendricks.com - he and his wife have written tons of wonderful boks on relationships, creativity etc...)

so... we don't have so much a fear of success as a contract with our selves to not be successful. We have set an upper limit to our joy, our success and our love.
we have unconscious contracts (verbal agreements) we can "blame" ourselves, our parents our society...
but these "contracts" are binding for us.

"I allow myself to only be this successful and no more, when I approach beyond "this" level of success I will stop myself, cut it short and do what i need to to stop it."

so, we become aware of them by becoming aware of those things that we seem to constantly need to relearn.
"what lesson is constantly being retaught to me again and again?"

there very well may be a contract you have around that.
so... time to rewrite that contract.





I think too. dear kaalii, you need to define "success" for yourself...
For me... looking at your "over 200-300 (fire) performances + theatre and music gigs, almost 10 years experience in it" - DEFINES success.

get clear within yourself what success is... what it means to you... is it static or flowing?
Is it based on money in your bank account?
How many people consider you a success?
Is it a feeling?
or does it have easily definable "benchmarks"?
is it about doing what you love? doing less of what you don't love?

when you get to a definition (of success) that COMPLETELY LIGHTS YOU UP... makes you glow with inspiration... then there is no way on earth you will have any sort of "fear" of that.


hope that is helpful.
we are all in this together.

kaalii

I am a professional metal sculpture artist who operates without a portfolio, business cards or website...
my work all comes to me by word of mouth or through application process.

I know others have encouraged doing the business card things and if that feels right then do it...

but it is only the wrapping on the gift.
the gift is you...
You have a gift for doing what you do, it is of value to others... that is apparent by the fact that you are able to teach it as a full time gig.
fully realize the value you have to offer...
actualize the gift's value.

the wrapping is the wrapping and may make the gift "seem" more valuable, but the value is not in the wrapping...

(am I being too esoteric - i do that sometimes)